The Ups And Downs of Anxiety And Depression
If you told me a year ago that today I would have spent my morning at church and my day at the beach, while it’s 95 degrees outside and that I’d do it with pure joy, not stressed out about work or life or the dimples on my thighs and butt, the tire around my waist and the opinions of other beachgoers … I would straight up not have believed you.
In fact, I would have smiled politely, rolled my eyes internally and cried about it later in private.
A year ago, I was so deep in depression and anxiety that I could hardly see past the end of my nose. I ate ALL of my feelings, I was drowning in anxiety, stress and depression. I was miserable.
And the church? No way. Not happening.
But over the last year, I have been working SO HARD on getting my priorities straightened out.
I retired from my 6 figure, decade long career as a wedding photographer.
I started talking outloud and in my mind, words of prayer to a higher power who hadn’t heard from me in several years.
I sought out therapy.
I sought treatment from my doctor.
I stopped hating so much on myself, my appearance, and all of my faults.
I stopped talking to and following people who did not lift me up, or made me question my self worth.
I read Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis and began journaling.
And today, as I was cruising down the highway, laughing with my kids, feeling the warmth of my tan on my skin and the salt in my hair, having a scoop of ice cream guiltlessly … it occurred to me.
I’m happy. Genuinely and sincerely happy.
If you’re struggling with depression and anxiety, you are NOT alone and believe me when I say this: you ARE strong enough to overcome it. 🤗