What are the top 3 things most guests remember about your wedding?

The food, the music and the pictures.

What is the number one thing that brides and grooms forget to do on their wedding day?

EAT!

I’ve seen it countless times, where brides and grooms are the first to get their plate but don’t even sit down to enjoy their dinner. Maybe they’ll pick at it, take a few bites, and then they almost immediately get up to start saying hi to their guests, going around table to table to give hugs and receive congratulations. This is usually our best opportunity to capture photos of the bride and groom with their wedding guests in a non-posed, photojournalistic style … and for some reason, it seems to always be when caterers feel it’s the best time to hand us our vendor meals.

It’s been a decision between not eating and capturing these precious interactions … or eating, and missing it.

This is not ideal for us, nor for the bride and groom.

We had a wedding once where the caterer refused to feed us for almost 2 HOURS after the bride and groom were given their food. They insisted on giving every single person a meal and making us wait around until they started cleaning up, and by the time we were given our dinner – we were served ice cold food out of trash bags, and I had a bug in my vegetables (at that point, I thanked my lucky stars I had a Larabar in my camera bag, and that we were almost done with our 9 hours of coverage so we could go grab a burger somewhere).

Another time, we had a different caterer not bring enough wait staff, and it took a good 90 minutes to get fed – and we had less than 2 minutes to shovel a plate of cold salmon down before speeches started. Cold salmon = disgusting.

Your wedding doesn’t have to be a nightmare like this.

If your wedding photographer is scheduled to eat at the same time as the bride and groom, this will totally alleviate the “eat or miss it” dilemma. It also forces the bride and groom to sit down for at least 10-15 minutes, because they know their photographers are taking a break (we always tell them, “hey guys, we’re going to go eat real quick – you guys sit here and enjoy your dinner, and when we come back, let’s have you go around the tables to say hi!“). This way not only do they know we are being taken care of by the catering staff, they know that we are taking care of them by keeping them on a timeline, insuring we are going to capture photos of them with their guests, and it gives them a break from photos so they can relax and enjoy the dinner they’re paying thousands of dollars for!

It’s a total win-win situation.

So how do you become a heroic bride and groom, and make sure everyone is well taken care of?

• Talk to your wedding coordinator and your caterer about vendor meals/breaks. Make sure they plan to bring enough staff for the number of people you’re expecting (the cold salmon dinner? There were only 2 or 3 servers for over 150 people, with a 3-course dinner!).
• Talk to the DJ, so he knows to announce who is eating in what order (if you’re having a buffet).
• Ask the caterer how they plan to keep plated meals warm before serving the last guests (because I know if OUR food is cold, THEIRS is cold, too).
• Even if you are not obligated contractually to provide a warm meal for your vendors, schedule in a meal break for them while you’re eating.

We actually have it in our contract now that we will eat at the same time as the bride and groom. I will reach out to coordinators and caterers in the days prior to the event now, to make sure we are being taken care of and that they understand exactly why we have it in our contract, so there’s no last minute snafu’s the day of the wedding.

Until next week!

xoxo

Do you have a question about planning your wedding? Need advice about something? Email me at ashleydurhamstudios@gmail.com, and maybe you’ll see your question featured!