What to Say to the Negative Nancy in Your Life Without Causing Drama

Jul 15

What to Say to the Negative Nancy in Your Life Without Causing Drama

If you’re anything like me, you are passionate, driven, goal oriented and 100% believe in the possibilities of life and success and nothing like the Negative Nancy I’m about to introduce you to.

Over the last 7 months, if you’ve been following along, you’ve seen my entire life get flipped turned upside down. I retired from a booming six-figure, nearly decade long career as a wedding photographer. I’ve moved from Colorado, where Randy and I thought we’d raise our family and grow old together, to southeast Georgia to a small town with a population the size of our old neighborhood. You’ve seen me struggle with my journey to overcome my crippling anxiety and depression. You’ve seen me begin a new journey in rededicating my life back to Jesus and the church. You’ve seen me watch as my family deals with my brother in law’s terminal cancer diagnosis. You’ve seen me working on my health and fitness. You’ve seen me launch a new business with Color Street.

And you’ve seen me do it all with humor and grace.

And through all that, I’ve had overwhelming support and love pouring my direction – everyone from high school friends to past clients to random strangers on the internet cheering me on.

But you know … life wouldn’t be life if there wasn’t someone who wanted to be a Negative Nancy know it all who just can’t help but try to tear ya down.

What to Say to the Negative Nancy In Your Life

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I recently had an encounter with one such person and it really almost threw me through a loop.

Here’s what happened.

I had friended someone on social media because she’s moving to my area in a few months and I thought it would be a good opportunity to welcome them to our town and who knows – maybe make a friend, someone to have BBQs with and go shopping with and what not. I’m that type of person, okay?

So, a few days later, she posted this really long rant about how she hates people who are part of any MLM, that they’re pyramid schemes and no one is ever successful at them, that they’re pushy sales people selling crap that doesn’t work, that people in them don’t pay taxes or have their own business and just really felt the need to spew a bunch of venom into the universe. And she had a handful of ladies responding negatively and cheering her on with eye rolling enthusiasm.

Of course, I was like – whoa, what? No sister, let me speak some truth here.

I calmly explained that I absolutely pay taxes (boy do I ever!), it is a legitimate business and it is 100% possible to make a true living doing something from home. I also spoke of how I never thought I’d join an MLM but I did because I actually love, use and recommend my products because they are 100% in line with who my target client is – a busy mom who works for herself, who values self care and wants to make a difference in the world by raising strong women together. I explained that with Color Street being in its infancy, that I’m excited to share about it with people I think who might be interested because NOW is the time to join.

She then shot back and asked if I honestly thought I’d ever make 6 figures, and then she asked if the brainwashing was part of our training.

And here’s what I said: I have no doubt I can do whatever I want to do. No one gets to tell me how BIG my dreams can be.

Of course, I got attacked by her friends and made fun of for standing up for my beliefs and being my own cheerleader. They laughed like a stereotypical mean girl group from high school and said, “good luck earning a retirement selling nail stickers” (ugh, as if that’s what they are!?) and it was at that moment that …

I realized something important.

And it’s something I want to share with you here.

I’m not going to be friends with everyone. I’m not going to be able to explain why I do what I do to people who can’t see past their own negativity and ignorance and quite possibly their own self doubt that they could ever be as successful as me or my team.

And I certainly am not going to change the course of my direction because of a few naysayers.

So I turned off notifications for the post so my phone would stop blowing up, I quietly unfriended the negative Nancy and walked away from the conversation.

I’m not going to waste my precious time and energy on people who are a drain on my mental or spiritual health and you know what, sister? Neither should you.

There are way too many positive ways to look at things and the world to live in a life of “you can’t” and “you’ll never” and “keep dreaming.”

I’m here to tell you:




No one gets to tell me how big my dreams can be and guess what – no one can tell you, either.

If someone had told me ten years ago that I’d never make six figures just taking pictures, that I’d never be featured in national magazines and ad campaigns for major retailers, win awards and be a highly sought after destination wedding photographer … can you imagine if I had believed them?

Can you imagine if I had shied away and said, you know what Negative Nancy – you’re right. I should just stop because it’s hard work and there’s a lot of competition and I’ll probably never make it, anyway.

To do that honestly makes me sick to think about. I never would have made the friends I have, experienced the things I have, traveled to the places I have or inspired my own children to take chances, work hard and see it all pay off.

 Just let that sink in for a minute.

So if you have an annoying gnat in your ear telling you these things – wish that Negative Nancy well and just walk away. Don’t let them stop you from living the life you dream about every day. Just because whatever you’re embarking on is not for them doesn’t mean anything at all – it just means that you’re on a different path and that’s okay.

xo Ash Durham