I’ve put off writing this blog for a long time now. I’ve started, and restarted it – trying to figure out the right words, the right way to phrase things. I’ll admit, it’s probably one of the hardest blogs I’ve ever written – and for good reason.
We’re Recognizing our Priorities as Wedding Photographers
This year, we’ve experienced something we never thought that we would ever go through – something unpreventable, something no one was expecting, something that shook us both deep down to the core. We weren’t sure if it was “okay” to blog about it, we wanted to make sure if we did say something – that it came from a place of growth and wisdom and not just as a way to share news, especially since it’s not happy news.
You see, this year, we’ve watched two friends/brides go through the absolutely terrible heartache of burying their soul mate.
One of our couples hadn’t even gotten married yet, but I had shot their engagement session three weeks before the groom passed away suddenly in his sleep. The other couple had just celebrated their first wedding anniversary, when the groom was taken from us in a tragic traffic accident.
I can’t begin to even fathom the heart ache, the unsurmountable pain of losing my husband, my best friend, my soul mate. I think about both of these grooms and the brides they left behind every single day, and I can’t help but ask myself if there was something I could have done (or still can do) to make this time easier for them. I’ve cried on more than one occasion, thinking about how happy Keir + Liz were at their engagement session and how joyful Lindsey + Josh were on their wedding day – and how the future was taken from them in the blink of an eye. Without any warning, for absolutely no reason.
Let me skip forward to a couple of weeks ago – when Randy + I went to a workshop with our new friends Meg + Josh from Love is a Big Deal. I can’t remember the exact conversation we were having with Meg or how we got on the subject of it – but we were talking about how much I can’t stand taking wedding dress/bridal party dress photos of the dresses hanging in a doorway or off the armoire (or hanging from a tree outside, or any other cliche thing like that). It’s literally the only photo I don’t eagerly look forward to taking on wedding days – I can never make it look as good as some other photographers I admire, and honestly – it doesn’t drive my creativity, it just stresses me out. And when Randy mentioned how much I loathe taking those photos Meg just kind of made a face, shook her head and say, “so don’t take them anymore, if it doesn’t make you happy.”
I didn’t respond back because to be honest, I was kind of shellshocked at the pure audacity, but in my head I immediately thought “but my brides will TREASURE those photos for years to come!! That photo matters!!!”
But then I got to thinking … in 6 years of wedding photography, I can’t recall a time when a bride chose the photo of her dress to go into her wedding album. Blogs + publications love those photos, sure … but do our brides really treasure those photos? Do our grooms? How about their families? Or better yet, will their grandchildren and great-grandchildren?
I fought the answer because every single photographer I know would argue with me about it – but deep down I knew: probably not.
Which brings me back to losing Keir and Josh this year.
Why am I a wedding photographer? What’s the point?
Because I love people, not things …
… Because I feel like marriage is the most important decision and promise you’ll ever make, aside from having children.
Because it’s two families joining together …
… Because it’s one day where literally everything is all about love and happiness.
Because as a wedding photographer, Randy + I have the unique honor and obligation to document all of these things to the best of our ability – not just for our couples, but for their families. For their children. For their grandchildren and for everyone else who knows and loves them. For the world to remember them, and their story.
When Keir + Josh both passed away this year, it wasn’t framed photos of dresses and table settings that their widows clung to. It wasn’t photos of a bouquet that was used for the memorial service. It isn’t photos of things that Liz + Lindsey treasure above all else.
It’s the photos of them holding hands. It’s photos of them whispering inside jokes and laughing together. It’s Josh, tears streaming down his face as Lindsey walks toward him at the altar because he was so overcome with joy and love and how big the moment was for them both. It’s the two of them twirling together on the dance floor. It’s Liz, leaning on Keir’s shoulder, counting the beats of his heart.
It’s the people. It’s the moments. Not the things.
So why am I sharing about this today?
Because, I’m giving myself grace from here on out. I’m not going to stress over getting the perfect dress shot anymore. I’m not going to spend 15 (or more) precious minutes setting up a shot of something that in 1, 5, 10 or even 50 years won’t really matter. I’d rather spend my time taking photos that do matter.
Randy + I have talked a lot about the direction in which we want our business to go, the type of people we want to spend time with, the type of stories we want to tell. We fully recognize (and appreciate) that we aren’t the photographers for everyone – and that’s totally okay. It’s not so scary to think, “this couple might not be the perfect fit for us” – even if 100% of our income relies on it, because in the end: we want to be a story teller, a friend, and a documentarian. Not just a show-up-and-shoot photographer … it’s just not who we want to be.
But for the people we ARE the perfect photographers for – you better believe we treasure you. We take a lot of pride in preserving your memories for a lifetime. We promise to celebrate all of life’s blessings with you, and share in your joy.
We might not be capturing the world’s best dress photo, but we will be doing something much more important: telling your story.
So from here on out, you’re going to see some subtle changes to our blogs and photography. We’re shifting our focus more on the relationships, moments, emotions + magic of wedding days. Will we still take detail photos? Duh, of course!!! We love a beautiful bouquet and table setting as much as the next person, but we aren’t going to stress over it. Life’s too short to stress over things within our control.
We’ll leave you with this moment, one of our favorite moments from any wedding we’ve ever shot – the moment Josh got done reciting his vows to Lindsey.
xoxo,
R+A
