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his is my place to share stories from sessions, elopements and weddings as well as give advice, talk business and share my own personal adventures. I'm so glad that you're here!
How You Can Support Small Business Owning Friends Who Need Help
March 9, 2020
I’m writing this blog at 12:30 in the morning. That should give you some insight into just how I am feeling.
Old friends will know this, but new friends may not: I am not a night person. Unless I’m at a wedding, I’m not one stay up past 9 most nights. But the last few days, my mind has been so absolutely chaotic and frantic that as a result I’m not getting much sleep.
So here I am … laying in bed, listening to Deep Sleep on Spotify as Randy is snoozing away, and I’m blogging from my phone on the WordPress app.
People keep asking how I’m doing after my cancer diagnosis, and at first I lied and said I was fine. I wasn’t necessarily lying to those who asked, but, more so lying to myself. And then I found myself getting less and less okay with the lie, because damn it – I am not fine. I am so far from fine that 90% of the time I am in this constant battle to not throw up all over the place.
Not only do I have to worry about having cancer and surgery and radiation and the fall out of all these things. I am going to be super raw here: I am sick to my stomach about what it’s going to cost. Not just monetarily, but for my business. For my family. For the short term, and the long run.
We have been Dave Ramsey fans for a long time now. For the better part of our 30s, we have been working so hard to snowball our “large family on lower enlisted military pay” debt from our 20s. I’m proud of us – we have paid off so much and have really done a great job of not digging financial holes to fall into anymore. Hanging out in the RV for a few months while we save up to buy our farm is just part of our plan to be entirely debt free.
But every once in a while, we accidentally step into a hole that takes us a while to get out of. For example: my 2015 emergency surgery for my gallbladder. Our insurance picked up the bulk of our well-over $100,000 bill – but we were still responsible for an ugly percentage just as many other people are in America. It took us over two years to pay it off. I had to shoot two weddings within 10 days of my surgery because I simply couldn’t afford to refund the couples nor could I afford to let them down from a business reputation standpoint.
Y’all – I literally came home from the hospital, showered, and we drove 2 hours into the mountains to shoot a wedding. Bloated from laparoscopic surgery, doped up on pain meds, unable to eat because of the nausea and yet we showed up. And I hiked around the mountains and photographed an incredible 8 hour wedding.
Don’t get me wrong – my couple that day was absolutely amazing and so were my second wedding couple the next weekend. Randy took lead for both days, they let me take my time, the other vendors were incredible and helped me out when they could. I would shoot and excuse myself to go throw up, because I couldn’t keep food down. Randy was the only one who knew how truly terrible I was doing because all I was worried about was making sure my illness didn’t effect their special day.
And now I’m sitting here in the same boat. I know what’s coming, and I feel absolutely sick about it.
The worst part? I know I’m not alone. I know there are hundreds and thousands of other small business mommas just like me who are sitting up late at night, sick with worry about how their livelihood is going to survive because they have cancer, or are dealing with unforeseen circumstances, or they’re struggling to keep their heads above water.
I can’t afford to not show up, to cancel, or to not be 100% when I do show up. Small businesses like mine can’t afford the risk to our reputations, to the point where so many of us keep our battles silent. Especially when there’s a cancer diagnosis – I’ve seen firsthand that it scares off people. Small businesses like mine don’t have paid sick leave, we can’t automatically just be replaced by someone else. This isn’t a minimum wage job that just anyone can do, which is both a HUGE blessing … but also a little bit of a curse.
I have already had to refund a handful of canceled sessions, because I couldn’t reschedule them before we moved. I’ve had to book an additional photographer out of my own pocket for an upcoming wedding to assist, because I don’t know how well I’ll be able to handle photographing in the hot desert for 5 days straight a week after having major surgery. I’ve had to humbly ask for deadline extensions for my college courses – because of course I get diagnosed with cancer and have to have my thyroid removed during my final 8 weeks of college before finally earning my Bachelor’s degree that I’ve worked for, for nearly 19 years. Literally the story of my life. 🙄
We also got my first cancer bill in the mail this week: a little over a thousand dollars for my biopsy. For a a 20 minute outpatient procedure. A thousand bucks. When people say photography is a lot – we certainly don’t make $1000 in 20 minutes. Well maybe some photographers do, but I’m not one of them – ha!
But over the last few days, I’ve seen something else and that’s what has inspired me to write this blog in the middle of the night. I’ve seen how people can truly come together when the shit has hit the fan, especially for small business owners like me who are facing the scariest time in their lives.
You want to know how you can help me? Here’s how, and I promise – it’s super simple and it doesn’t cost you a single dime. Just think about me.
I would never in a million years be comfortable with the idea of asking for donations because I prefer to earn the money I need. I know many of my other small business owning friends who need help feel the same exact way.
So, instead I am humbly asking for you to think of me. Think of me, not only this week, but in the upcoming weeks and months as the bills pour in and the shit flings off the fan it hit this month.
And when you see an adorable dog photo or video or a dog meme, think of me. Tag me in it, share it with me, text it to me – it’ll cheer me up. I promise!
I am anticipating taking a break from blogging for a few days – mostly because I learned the lesson about jumping right back into work from my last surgery. My complete thyroidectomy surgery is scheduled for this upcoming Wednesday morning down in Fernandina Beach, and I’ll be spending at least one night in the hospital. I’ll be sharing on my personal instagram of course, though. Blogging takes a lot more effort than a quick Insta post, that’s for sure.
You’d be surprised how much it means to just get a quick text or DM from someone, offering prayers or support. I’ve been absolutely flooded with all of these things, from strangers and friends alike, and it’s been overwhelming in the most incredible way possible. I appreciate it so much, more than my words could ever convey. From the bottom of my heart, I appreciate it so much.